Saturday, July 28, 2012


It seemed impertinent and even a little bit rude to ignore the fact the Olympics have opened in London today, and NOT devote some time to them.  If Queen Elizabeth II can skydive out of a helicopter to launch the event, then surely I can take a break away from Strip Search Canada.  Not to worry though.  Strip Search Canada will continue, too, and won't be done until the last hunk has stripped.

Since the eyes of the world are on the United Kingdom for what is, so far, a fun and splashy beginning to the Olympics, then clearly my choice for this feature should be from that great nation, from which I have heritage.  I couldn't think of anyone from the Isles who could be more the epitome of being fabulous over 40 than...

Clive Owen...

Yes, I know what some of you are saying.  "Hey, it was Daniel Craig who made that bleeding jump out of the helicopter with His Majesty!"  And you would have a point, but I have always been a sucker for the dark-haired fellas.  

Clive was born October 3, 1964 in Coventry, and has been acting since 1988. He was considered for the role of James Bond and devotees of he and Craig can battle it out as to whether the right choice was made. I will say that he made for a dashing King Arthur.

Any Guinevere who screwed around on this King Arthur didn't deserve to be queen.  Off to the nunnery with her, and quickly!

When I was in college, I played Merlin in the musical Camelot. If I were to recall that part, I would whip up a spell or potion that would make Clive fall in love with me...or at least get horizontal on the Round Table for a little while.

Here's a delicious wallpaper of the actor gettin' medieval on someone's ass while giving us his trademark panty dropping glare.

As a younger man, Clive had the look of a British pop star like Morrissey or 

However, as he has aged, he gained a broadening of his features that made him more masculine and rugged looking, just adding to his sex appeal in any mood:







Or just plain DEVLISH...

Why Clive isn't an even bigger star is a mystery to me. The camera loves him in any light and from any angle.

Regardless of his choice of transportation, we all want to be riding it with him...

I don't know about the rest of you, but no one on a bus ever looked like this!

A horse!  A horse!  My kingdom for a --oh, fuck it. Just get me Clive Owen
The green-eyed beauty of Owen, with his come hither stare, strong chin and rugged jawline have made Owen as popular a  model as actor. 

This isn't even an ad for denim, but it should be.

I am not even sure what they're selling with this one, but I've ordered three of them.

If I were the villain in one of his movies, it would be the most boring film EVER because I wouldn't even make him chase me. "You've got me!  Tie me up!  Tie me down!  Whatever you do, please don't have sex with me to get at my secrets, because I won't blab! Seriously.  That might by my weak spot, so don't do it!" 

Gun unnecessary. Those eyes could make me do anything. 

Running from Clive Owen would be like using a winning lottery ticket to make an origami swan.

One of the best things about Clive is that he has never been reticent to show us the goods. He will go shirtless in a heartbeat.


He did some nice bum footage in Shoot 'Em Up, though it could have been better.


His crowning achievement in nude scenes came from an all time great one, in the British film Close My Eyes.  Here are some classic shots...

 For frontal queens, it's about to get better...

Not to worry. Courtesy of my dear friend, xyzpdq, and his magnificent site Scenes of Male Skin, here are the videos.  You can get the downloads by visiting SOMS' Clive Owen video page, where xyz has a library of nude videos. 


This summer Clive starred with Nicole Kidman in the HBO miniseries Hemingway & Gellhorn. It's rather good, AND features a brief shot of Clive's butt and nice sidal action.

Forty eight year old Clive Owen: The perfect Brit to celebrate men over 40 and the U.K.!


  1. I first noticed Clive in Bent, great but horrible WW2 movie about 2 gay men who fall in love in a concentration camp. He was beautiful in that.

    Great choice Derek!

  2. I think it was his role in Bent that first got my attention, too, tri. He ages remarkably well, doesn't he? Like Kennedy, middle age spread actually did him a favor.