Saturday, June 30, 2012

FRIDAY'S FAB 40+ MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY

So, anyone who's anyone in Gayville knows that Magic Mike premiered this weekend. Therefore I am declaring this Stripper Week.  Each of the posts for the coming week will be themed with strippers in one way or another. 


As for this week's Fab 40+, I am not really running late. At least I am not at fault. My power was off for 24 hours, and is explained at the bottom of this post.


This week's Fab 40+ is dedicated to that paragon of shirtlessness, Matthew McConaughey, who--for no reasonable reason--has ever gotten a shorter nickname from the public. It's a mouthful of an Irish name, but no one has ever really, effectively shortened it. How....queer. Sexy Reksy and the good folks at Just a Dream have begun calling him Matty Mac, and that is good enough for me. Born in Uvalde, Texas,  November 4, 1969, I present to you Matthew McConaughey...




Of course I've gone into much detail at JustADream about my personal interaction with Matty Mac on the film We Are Marshall. For those who may not be JaD forum users, I will enlighten.


A few years ago, Warner Brothers made a film about my alma mater, Marshall University, and the plane crash that took the lives of the school's entire football team and 30 other coaches, staff and community members. Called We Are Marshall, the movie starred Matty Mac as the replacement head coach and Matthew Fox as the surviving assistant coach. The movie cast and crew were here for three weeks filming and I got to be an extra AND work with the director of the documentary made to promote the film. All of this meant that I was around Matty Mac quite a bit. 



People perceive Matty Mac as a good ol' Texas boy with a down to earth personality and aw shucks charm.  Trust me, that ain't him. 

He is not unpleasant, but not really a charmer either.  Don't confuse that warm personality you see in interviews  with who he really is. Few people in Hollywood take themselves as seriously. He loves being a star and expects you to be as obeisant and worshipful, as should be required by law. He is very impressed with himself and is not a fan of eye contact. 

Nonetheless, I must say that few in this world have an ass as impressive as his.  



Seriously, whenever he left a room, his ass was a good ten seconds behind him. All eyes, female and gay, craned to enjoy the view. I have one friend who saw Matty Mac running on the school track and then saw him in the locker room, and though straight, my friend said that he just had to check out his package in the shower. He proclaimed that he found Matt to be average.  Now, this is coming from a straight man, so I am not sure if his assessment is kind, unfair or indifferent. 

What is truly a mystery to me, though, is the question of why McConaughey has failed to act with his ass. He seemed to so idolize Paul Newman that he wanted to be taken seriously on a level like that.  However, Paul Newman acted in and directed Tennessee Williams plays on Broadway. He was in the original cast of Sweet Bird of Youth, no less. Now THAT'S acting!  McConaughey would have been a natural in the same material like Sweet Bird, as well as Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, The Long Hot Summer, and even Hud. Though clearly never as good as Newman, Matty Mac would never have embarrassed himself in such material, having proven to be rather good in films like John Sayles' Texas gothic Lone Star, Steven Spielberg's underrated Amistad, as the gnostic scientist in Contact, and the recent hit, The Lincoln Lawyer. If his career had been full of material like that, it might have made sense that he avoided nudity.

But it was not. 

I am not going to list the number of lame rom-coms that he appeared in. He has gone through every leading lady of his generation: Kate Hudson (twice), Jennifer Garner, Jennifer Lopez, Sarah Jessica Parker and Penelope Cruz, just for starters, and all with varying results. 

Most importantly, Matty Mac had THIS in his past...


                       

It came from a session with a photog in Texas, who was paid off quickly to make the rest of the pics go away. I am convinced it was less to do with Matty Mac's vanity and more to hide the fact that this man is more serious about being a narcissist than an actor. Anyone who has ever seen him in any interview can figure out that much. 

McConaughey had three very clear opportunities for nudity in three different movies:

  • A Time to Kill--His starmaking role had him standing in front of Sandra Bullock, with only his shirt tail covering his pert posterior. Does she lift the shirt for a view?  Yes. Does the camera share it with us?  Of course not!
  • ED TV--Some love scenes in which his character is followed by cameras, in which the idea of showing his naked body to the world would have been an obvious moment, but he does no more than get shirtless
  • Boys on the Side--The most galling of all because this was before Matty Mac was famous, he has a great bedroom scene with Drew Barrymore and the fucking film (as evidenced by its title) is about women seizing the day and objectifying the men!  As usual, it's all smoke and mirrors to lure the ladies in and watch as they get treated like shit by the men, and the men are treated with all the PG-rated chastity of monks

But Time is a queer mistress (yes, I know--I've used that word twice in this post, with little if any irony), and nothing makes the narcissistic actors flee to nudity more quickly than hearing that other hotties have arrived, and these hotties are not only willing to bare ass, but are eager to do so. 

Hence it is that, with Channing Tatum and Alex Pettyfer snipping at his heels, this year, at the age of 42, Matty Mac bares tail in not just Magic Mike, but also in Mud and the much delayed but hotly anticipated Killer Joe

It's no secret that he is practically naked everywhere he goes...






And while he does look good when dressed...






Naked, he's a star!


The closest Matty Mac had come to showing us the goods up to this point was in the cable broadcast of the film Two for the Money. Here are some caps all thanks to my friend Casperfan at Just a Dream...








I know I am not alone when I say that is an ass just MADE for being played like bongos (slipped that reference in rather stealthily, didn't I?). 


Casperfan's wonderful video capture is here....


video

By the way, if you don't have Casperfan's blog bookmarked, do yourself a favor and do so now.  It's not only one of the best online, but one the seven blog role models for my site and who are shown in my Eyeconic Links list.

No, go see Matty Mac act with his ass in Magic Mike




I am actually not a day late with my Friday Fab 40+.  I had no choice in the matter. A bizarre windstorm blew in to West Virginia and Virginia yesterday afternoon, and trees were leveled, cars destroyed and power was knocked out to 500,000 residents in this state alone, and I was one of them.  Family was coming in from Philly, I had no power and the temps were around 100!  It was not a great night. I had to find a hotel room for my family, and didn't get electric back until about 2 PM today!  

3 comments:

  1. Even though I certainly enjoy looking at Matty Mac, I wanted to comment to express my envy at you being an extra haha.

    I always wanted to work in the entertainment industry, but due to, let's say, circumstances I never even took classes and now I'll never get to realize it, so even small things like that get me jealous hah.

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  2. Matty is nothing if not sexy, for all his other qualities or lack thereof. So much so that I'd dare say that's a big part of the relatively unexpected success, I suppose, of the movie. Maybe I'm wrong, but with 70% of the audience going to see it being female, he probably gets a lot of credit. It safe to say he runs the gamut of appeal from women to gay men, and I wouldn't even be surprised if he's stirred a little something in some puzzled straight guys! :p

    Great post Derek!

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  3. I had a blast being an extra, deyes40. It's the most fun I've ever had with my clothes on. ;)

    There's a great article on Matty Mac in the NY Times, reks. It amazingly picks up on many of my points. If someone from that paper reads my blog, would you PLEASE get me a job there? :D

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