MODEL MONDAY: JACEK BILCZYNSKI

We're still in the middle of the Olympics and I am sure you are all enjoying them as much as I. It seems that the medals are getting spread around pretty evenly. We in the USA are just thrilled over women's gymnastics and men's swimming.  Here in the United States, swimmer Ryan Lochte is on the cover of every magazine from Men's Health to Cat Fancy. Who knew he has a Persian tabby at home, and it's name is Buttercup? Oh, the effort we Americans make to know our celebrities! 

This is why we fought the monarchy of England; so that we could replace them with other people who will hold our interest for about two years and then we can exchange them. Same system. Different timing. Queen Elizabeth II celebrated her hard earned Diamond Jubilee in England, while in this country, Kim Kardashian got a Brazilian bikini wax at that place on Mullholland that won't accept tips. In two more years, the Queen will, God willing, still be the queen, but our American interest will have moved on to the teenage version of a Toddler in Tiaras who is in rehab....or Lindsey Lohan.  What can I say? She's got staying power. If we ever do have a queen, it's gonna be her....and oh, heads will roll! 

Anyway, my basic point is that although Ryan Lochte left the United States for London as our nation's poster boy, that does not make him a model.  That takes a portfolio of work, and since I am feeling so international, I decided to celebrate... 

Jacek Bilczyński

Looks like the CD cover for the latest country music hunk, doesn't it?  Only this time the country is Poland.  Just looking at his name--Jacek Bilczyński--makes me want to say "I think I will buy a vowel, Pat." If you don't get that reference, don't worry. It was only funny to people who have nothing to do between 7:00 and 7:30. 

Meanwhile I would like do Jacek...

Working with all that rusted farm equipment worries me that he might cut himself and get tetanus. Someone should give him a shot, which I am willing to do. Just drop those pants, Jacek, and let me pop it into your sweet little tush--

Oh, wait.  He has more rustic farming to do....

Didn't anyone ever tell him that smoking will stunt his growth? 

But then again, all the science data may not be in.

Seriously, doesn't he have the look of a musclebound Keith Urban, who happens to have the most ironic name in country music?  What would country music be called in Poland? Is there a Polish word for Kenny Chesney? For their sake, I hope not. 

Still, the focus is on the ever lovely man who is being prepped to be my future ex-husband. My people are working with him in an Eliza Doolittle sort of way to make him someone I could present to the queen ( boy she's getting almost as many plugs in this thread as it has parentheses. Buckingham Palace should be sponsoring this site).

Howzabout a little Skype?

Strutting on the runwayski...

"Sorry, I'm late. I was just napping with Derek."

I would like to polish the Polish coverboy. English is a strange language, isn't it? 

And as with so many of my selections, Jacek makes a musical appearance. Cue the organ music....or rather, the music of your organ...

"Sing once again with me, our strange duet"

"My power over you, grows stronger yet"

"And though you turn from me..."

"To glance behind"

"The Phantom of the Opera is there,
Inside your mind."

No wonder Andrew Lloyd Webber is making a sequel to that show. 

Now I know what you're all saying. "But, Derek, this is Olympic week, and we need our homage," and I completely agree. First off all, did you know that Jacek is a life coach?  

A life coach is someone you pay to be a positive influence in your life, and to say aloud all the things you need to hear to counterbalance all those negative things the voices in your head are saying like "You're not good enough," or "You're not smart enough," or "People are only coming to your blog to see pictures of hot guys and no one is reading your patter."  You know. Just negative nabob stuff that can't possibly be true. 

As for the Olympics, let us imagine Jacek sweeping medals in...

ARCHERY

DIVING 

SWIMMING

BOXING

GYMNASTICS

WHATEVER ONE DOES WITH THIS GIANT BALL

As usual, I save the best for last.  No beautiful model is complete until we have some wonderful nude shots, especially with an ass that is deserving of a whole roomful of medals, just waiting for me to...ahem, hang them. 

If you aren't completely farsighted, you know that these pictures are from the amazingly talented photographer Maciej Grochala,which I think is one of the coolest names ever. 

You must view his amazing work at his site:

Maciej Grochala Photography

There are some hot videos of Jacek...

And finally, the moment we all most enjoy, the bare bumski.....

Jacek Bilczyński: Modern Day Prometheus