HUMPDAY HUMP: JOEL RUSH

Some of us remember hottie Joel Rush from the ABC TV show "True Beauty," a program that taught us all to hate people because they are beautiful, and feel good about ourselves because we are not, and are therefore more decent human beings. In America, the game isn’t over until the superior position is assumed.

I happen to ascribe to the theory that Jim Carrey espoused in "Liar, Liar."  His character’s son told him, "Our teacher told us that true beauty comes from within," to which Jimbo rejoindered, "That's just something ugly people say." 

Which is true. If there weren’t ugly people, would we have to look for inner beauty?  Isn’t that why fashion and make up industries exist?  So that we don’t have to do any more personal contemplation that necessary?  

The glory of the Internet is that we are all beautiful here. We select avatars to represent us and hopefully ingratiate into the minds of others that we are as beautiful as Blake Lively or Jonathan Schaech or Tyson Beckford.  Why spoil a good thing?  

I've met a handful of people in person that I only previously knew on the Internet and you know what?  They are all as beautiful as their avatars....more beautiful even, because they can spell and read!  Great looks, grammatical skills and engaging company. Who could ask for more?

And the same could be said of my first Cap-n-Clip subject, Joel Rush. The name alone makes your blood....well...rush, doesn't it?  Raven-haired, muscled, cocky (at least he pretends to be) and full of himself, Rush is the perfect lust-pet for any horny admirer of male flesh. 

He has been appearing in the "Eating Out" series of films about gay relationships, but has remained clothed, which is akin to hiring Michael Jordan for your basketball team and asking him not to play or coach, but to design the uniforms (that is a deliberately straight analogy in the hopes of driving a point home with heterosexual producers in terms that even they can understand). 

Finally, Joel appeared in the episode "16 Minutes of Fame." The show was about a Big Brother/Real World type of reality series in which a lot of young people have sex. Or, should I say, the men have sex, the women are too busy having camera and lighting technicians pan and scan their bodies as if looking for a suspicious mole. My dermatologist is less scrutinizing! I would have one of these soft core film crews check my body for any growths if I were a woman, but as it is, they would just examine me from a great distance and give me a clean bill of health after five lazy seconds of review.

I digress.

Finally, after some lame sex scenes, Joel Rush shows up to make love to a woman in the shower and to himself in the mirror.  Remember when Christian Bale did this in "American Psycho?"  Well, let's hope it spawns a whole sub-genre of films in which hot guys get naked and check themselves out in mirrors while having sex. It's a moneymaker as sure as I am sitting here!

Nonetheless, without further ado, here are caps of Joel Rush in "Femme Fatales."

VIDEO UPLOAD:  JOEL RUSH-FEMME FATALES-16 Minutes of Fame

If asses get better than that I would surely like to inspect them!