## Monday, October 8, 2012

### MODEL MONDAY: BERNARDO VELASCO

Here in the United States we had a banker's holiday, Columbus Day. When I was a child (which really wasn't all that long ago) we were taught that Christopher Columbus discovered the Americas. It probably wasn't until about 20 years ago that indigenous peoples started insisting that it be noted that you can't discover something that is already inhabited. Then historians began to insist that L'Anse aux Meadows in Canada be acknowledged as the evidence of the first known arrival of Europeans in the Western Hemisphere. Hence, what was once a holiday celebrating the discovery of the New World has become watered down to a celebration of the first European to remind the Continent that the Americas existed and that they ought to get together some sort of plan to exploit them, starting with making him governor of his own "discovery."

So, Happy celebration of the re-discovery of something that already existed and that a lot of people just sort of forgot about until they could exploit it better Day!

Since this is another Model Monday I chose a man whose beauty is the extension of the Iberian cultures that played such a role in creating the one of the nations of the Americas, Brazil, in the form of his Latin handsomeness...

BERNARDO VELASCO

Okay, perhaps I started this a bit awkwardly. I am not suggesting that Bernardo is in any way related to Columbus or responsible for the things done in his name. I'm really saying that, with the exception of the indigenous population and descendants of Africans, he is like all the rest of us, the descendant of the Europeans who would come to define the two continents. And judging from the beautiful brown pools of brown light emanating from his gorgeous eyes, I'd say that Bernardo is as good a representation of Western beauty as could be.

The gorgeous Bernardo was born in Rio de Janiero on January 30, 1986.  He is a graduate of the Federal University of Rio De Janeiro with a degree in--what else?--physical education.

Well, I would happily be educated by this...

Oh, how I'd like to pitch to this particular catcher, if you catch my drift.

But before we get sporty, let's get arty, and nothing is quite as artful as the classic male beauty in a crisp black and white photoshoot. Set to the classic Devo song, Bernardo agrees that we all must...

WHIP IT!

 If a problem comes along...
 YOU MUST WHIP IT!

 Before the cream sets out too long...
 You MUST whip it!
 When something's going wrong...
 YOU must whip it!

I can't quite read what's on his swimsuit, but I am guessing that it is a love letter to me. You are free to decipher it to your own needs.

This has to be what Rodin had in mind when he was sculpting The Thinker

The Big Bad Wolf huffed and puffed but he couldn't blow the brick house down. So he scrawled graffiti on the walls and ran away before the police could arrive. Bernardo investigates.

Bernardo comes to life in full blown color...

That jumpsuit really says JUMP, doesn't it?

These remind me of an old poem:

One for sorrow....

...one for joy...

...one for girl...

....one for boy...

...one for silver....

...one for gold....

...and one for a secret never to be told.

Bernardo does love to get silly, which is always really hot in a guy..

If Pythagorus is correct then,  $(b-a)^2+4\frac{ab}{2} = (b-a)^2+2ab = a^2+b^2. \,$
Wow!  These glasses do more than just make me look smart!

Well, so much for that spurt of smartness from the glasses...

Oh, wait, I spoke too soon...

If he mails me the pics, then we know that those glasses really did make him smart!

But alas, do what you do best, especially if that is in a bathing suit...

I think you will agree that Bernardo clearly modeled in every single color and design of Speedo that has ever been made. In fact, it makes him laugh...

VIDEO TIME!

But as we all know, anyone as hot as Bernardo is at his hottest when he is wearing something even less than Speedos...

For those of you who want a slight glimpse of what he's playing with....