HUMPDAY HUMP: MICHAEL SCRATCH

I have a new crush. It is one of those rare crushes that is both romantic and sexual. I am going to fight my every urge to make a pun out of his name and move right past the low hanging fruit of saying "If you've got an itch, then..."   Nope. Nosiree!  Not going to stoop to that one. 


Gentlemen and Gentlemen, I present to you...Michael Scratch!

To fully appreciate Michael Scratch, you have to imagine how he was made.  I see actor hottie Michael Ontkean (who graced us in the film Making Love, about gay men, back in the day when such a thing was truly risky) at the peak of his beauteous youth, being filtered through an Italian lens and given the body of a pro athlete....

The man has an awesome body to match that hang dog Italian face and dark brown hair. 

How often do you get actors who do sexy shots like this one?

The best part, though, is that Michael isn't just an actor, but one who has appeared in the Cinemax soft core series Lingerie.  Even better, he's not one of those pussy actors who wants to be seen balling the girl but never seen naked. This is one of the best series Cinemax has featured, and Michael is arguably the most beautiful man to grace one of their Friday night skin series since Paul Michael Robinson in Emmanuelle in Space. 

Moreover, you get to see that body naked in various scenes on a weekly basis. Add this to True Blood as one of my required weekly fixes.

THE PURPOSE OF THIS POST

I am deliberately starting with the very least of Michael's scenes.  In a three-way with two women (what else?) in the appropriately titled episode Three's a Crowd, Michael is sometimes the meat in the sandwich these women are making...

Oh, did I fail to mention that the man has an ass carved out of marble...

Yes, I know, there are a lot of titties in this post, but it's the price we pay to get to see a guy like this! 

I say, let's look at that scissored-legged position just a little more...

*SIGH*  THOSE LEGS! 

For your viewing pleasure, a video of the man, the myth, my future ex-husband...

Enjoy the live scene here...

And, as always, here is the download of the video for your entertainment. Enjoy, but remember, there will be more Michael Scratch to come.  As soon as this board gets its legs, I will be unveiling some of his best, shall I say "body" of work!


Michael Scratch in Lingerie-Three's a Crowd M4V

HUMPDAY HUMP: JONATHAN STEEN

Good news for me:  the fuckers art Comcast raised my cable bill about $80 a month.  How is that good news you ask?  Well, when I called them to complain, the very nice woman said "Let's see if we can get something figured out for you."  That's always a nice approach to take, especially with me. I can be a bit high strung"...you know, sort of like the cables on a Rocky Mountain suspension bridge. 


Finally, Nice Woman-Exhibit A comes back to me with a package that is slightly more than what I had been paying and slightly less than what my new bill had become. It included all the pay cables, most notably Cinemax.  How I missed me some hot mail ass on a Friday night, so I was happy to sign up. 


Then a week later, I am bragging to my brother in Philadelphia that I now have Cinemax. He always had all the other pay cables, but never the Max.  He deflated me by saying "I have it, too, now."  WhenI inquired about when and how he got Cinemax he said, "My bill went up and this nice woman worked with me to get a better package rate." 


Zounds!  I was duped!   And I thought I was the only person in the world whom Nice Woman-Exhibit A chose to help. Life can be so disheartening sometimes. 


Whatever. At least I have Cinemax now, and I have been catching up on all the male tail offerings that I have so missed. 


One of the series that I never saw is Lingerie. It's got quite a few hotties in it who aren't afraid to show us some very fine ass on a regular basis. I won't start with my favorite. I will get to him when this Blog is more entrenched. 


Instead I will go to Jonathan Steen, a slender, sleek blond hottie who shows a very fine and slightly fuzzy butt. 

For the video, you can download an MV4...


Jonathan Steen #1 in MV4


This should play perfectly in your Itunes. I've been having some conversion problems, so if this is a problematic download, just let me know and I will see what I can do. 

HUMPDAY HUMP: JOEL RUSH

Some of us remember hottie Joel Rush from the ABC TV show "True Beauty," a program that taught us all to hate people because they are beautiful, and feel good about ourselves because we are not, and are therefore more decent human beings. In America, the game isn’t over until the superior position is assumed.

I happen to ascribe to the theory that Jim Carrey espoused in "Liar, Liar."  His character’s son told him, "Our teacher told us that true beauty comes from within," to which Jimbo rejoindered, "That's just something ugly people say." 

Which is true. If there weren’t ugly people, would we have to look for inner beauty?  Isn’t that why fashion and make up industries exist?  So that we don’t have to do any more personal contemplation that necessary?  

The glory of the Internet is that we are all beautiful here. We select avatars to represent us and hopefully ingratiate into the minds of others that we are as beautiful as Blake Lively or Jonathan Schaech or Tyson Beckford.  Why spoil a good thing?  

I've met a handful of people in person that I only previously knew on the Internet and you know what?  They are all as beautiful as their avatars....more beautiful even, because they can spell and read!  Great looks, grammatical skills and engaging company. Who could ask for more?

And the same could be said of my first Cap-n-Clip subject, Joel Rush. The name alone makes your blood....well...rush, doesn't it?  Raven-haired, muscled, cocky (at least he pretends to be) and full of himself, Rush is the perfect lust-pet for any horny admirer of male flesh. 

He has been appearing in the "Eating Out" series of films about gay relationships, but has remained clothed, which is akin to hiring Michael Jordan for your basketball team and asking him not to play or coach, but to design the uniforms (that is a deliberately straight analogy in the hopes of driving a point home with heterosexual producers in terms that even they can understand). 

Finally, Joel appeared in the episode "16 Minutes of Fame." The show was about a Big Brother/Real World type of reality series in which a lot of young people have sex. Or, should I say, the men have sex, the women are too busy having camera and lighting technicians pan and scan their bodies as if looking for a suspicious mole. My dermatologist is less scrutinizing! I would have one of these soft core film crews check my body for any growths if I were a woman, but as it is, they would just examine me from a great distance and give me a clean bill of health after five lazy seconds of review.

I digress.

Finally, after some lame sex scenes, Joel Rush shows up to make love to a woman in the shower and to himself in the mirror.  Remember when Christian Bale did this in "American Psycho?"  Well, let's hope it spawns a whole sub-genre of films in which hot guys get naked and check themselves out in mirrors while having sex. It's a moneymaker as sure as I am sitting here!

Nonetheless, without further ado, here are caps of Joel Rush in "Femme Fatales."

VIDEO UPLOAD:  JOEL RUSH-FEMME FATALES-16 Minutes of Fame

If asses get better than that I would surely like to inspect them!